About 6-7 years ago I had an article published giving advice to care-givers--especially those ministering to the bereaved, the critically ill, the traumatized, the suffering, the dying.
It appears time again to say something about this subject:
Advice to care-givers
1) The power of presence
God has no difficulty in speaking through your silence
Your presence can bring healing and hope. A well-timed, well-meaning visit can deliver unspeakable comfort. Be there for them.
2) Listen
They have a story to tell. Listen!
Don’t worry about knowing the right things to say or all of the right answers. Because you'll never know the right things to say & there's no such thing as the right answers. Just be there & listen. A listening ear is often what they need the most.
3) Avoid platitudes
Avoid saying "It was God's will" or "I know how you're feeling"
Besides, you don’t know whether it’s God’s will & you'll never know precisely how they’re feeling. Remember this: Bad things happen to everyone–-good people and bad people alike–-period.
4) Help with household chores (if needed)
Step in and offer specific help; don't wait to be asked.
Look for specific, tangible ways to demonstrate compassion. Don’t say, "Let me know if you need anything," because they'll rarely ask for help. Instead, ask if you can mow their lawn, feed their cat/dog or bring a platter of sandwiches. And step in & and take action.
5) Don't be afraid of (or discourage) tears
Tears are God's healing balm for pain
If you need to cry, cry. If they need to cry, don’t discourage it. Tears have powerful healing properties. They’re a normal part of being a broken, fragile human.
6) Don't forget about members of their family
Others are probably hurting too!
Don’t become short-sighted with your compassion–-there’s probably more than one person needing a hug, a smile and the comfort in their family.
7) Help them discover & experience support
Key: God, family, friends, church members, support group
Help connect them with sources of support. There’s no need for them to suffer alone. Caring friends, family, neighbors and church members are more than willing to help.
8) Take care of yourself!
Care-givers need to eat well, sleep often & take breaks
Don’t forget to tend to your own needs--family, food, rest, exercise, recreation, etc.. You are no value to others if you let yourself run down.
9) Recovery takes time
Provide support for the long-haul
Your friendship and support will probably be needed much longer than you may predict.
10) Prayer is indispensable
Prayer does a world of good
Prayer will not only transform them, it can transform you too. A loving God wants to bring hope and help to everyone involved.